Friday, 12 February 2016

Brutal Pantomimes

Brutal Pantomimes (2016)
Egaeus Press

"Brutal Pantomimes contains ten tales of absurd exoticism, weird adventure and wild fantasy from the shockingly prolific and highly acclaimed Rhys Hughes. Most of the stories, novelettes and novella included have not previously been published and some are regarded by their author to be among his best works... Enjoy pirate shenanigans, a globe of the Earth that is a voodoo doll, the dubious gifts of a Greek god, impossible angles, improbable sciences, impractical philosophies, a rare tropical yeti in a submarine and so much more. Featuring an introduction by Michael Cisco."


The Jam of Hypnos * The Private Pirates Club * Corsets on the Outside * Wise Man * The Inflatable Stadium * The Eeriness that Lurks on the Far Side of Furniture * The Knees of Kionga * Shipyards on Saturn * How Gangrene was my Sally * The Impossible Inferno

Note: The story entitled 'Wise Man' actually consists of six linked tales, namely 'No Fury', 'Your Day', 'Last Chance', 'Nothing Else', 'In Stiches' and 'Most Unwise'

Thursday, 14 May 2015

Mirrors in the Deluge

Mirrors in the Deluge (2015)
Elsewhen Press

A collection of 32 stories of unusual fantasy, philosophical satire, ironic adventure and laterally logical daftness.


The Prodigal Beard * The Bungle Duke * The Modesty Men * The Soft Landing * Gathering the Genial Genies * Najort Esroh * Travels with my Antinomy * The Bubble Bursts * A Dame Abroad * A Real Nowhere Man * Gold, Myrrh and Frankenstein * The Mouth of Hell * The Strings of Segovia * Paired Down * Arms Against a Sea * The Martian Monocles * Suddenly * Stand and Deliver * Trophy Wife * The Unkissed Artist Formerly Known as Frog * The Fairy and the Dinosaur * The Goat that Gloated * Vanity of Vanities * Unicorn on the Cob * Sunstorm * The Anvil Cloud * The Apple of My Sky * The Taste of Turtle Tears * The Musical Universe * The Bones of Jones * Train of Thought * The Haggis Eater

Saturday, 31 January 2015

Thirty Tributes to Calvino

Thirty Tributes to Calvino (2015)
Gloomy Seahorse Press

A collection of thirty stories inspired by the genius of the writer Italo Calvino...

Paradoxical and philosophical fables; impossible cartographies and labyrinths of the mind and heart; towers that stretch across the universe; men who set sail on domestic oceans; the opinions and hopes of the sun; sentient geometries; games with gravity and planets; metafiction and wordplay; recursion and exploration; the perplexities of logic and desire.

These thirty tribute stories demonstrate the whimsical inventiveness and originality of an author who has won considerable acclaim for his speculative fiction.


The Memory Palace * The Time Tunnel Orchid * Trombonhomie * The Non-Existent Viscount in the Trees * The Impregnable Fortress * Mundi Mourning * The Grave Demeanour * The Planet of Perfect Happiness * Starfish Wish * Beyond Paraparapara * The Pig Iron Mouse Dooms the Moon * Universe Tower * Benchmark * The City That Was Itself * The Rowing Machine * Sending Freedom Far Away * The Cowardly Custard Apple * Doom It Heavenwards * The Chattering Star * Hagmouth Town * A Spaceship in the Shape of a Woman * The Melon Seller * The Square Circle * Giddy Up * The Days of the Turbans * The Blue Jewel Fruit * Canute a Little * Broom Cupboard of Crossed Destinies * The Bathing Bells * My Most Metafictional Tale

Orpheus on the Underground

Orpheus on the Underground (2015)
Tartarus Press

Orpheus on the Underground is the new Rhys Hughes collection from Tartarus Press, containing fifteen previously unpublished stories and ‘The Concise Picaresque Adventures of the Wanderlust Bridge’, which first appeared in Strange Tales II, 2008. Ranging from the ghostly, through horror to the entirely fantastic, Hughes’ marvellously inventive tales steer the reader through the bizarre labyrinths of his unique talent for the strange.

In ‘The Upper Reaches’, two pilots discover a world beyond their mission, while the eponymous hero of ‘Orpheus on the Underground’ attempts to fit classical myth into the transport system of a modern metropolis. ‘Behind Every Ghost’ takes a conventional aphorism to its illogical limit, while ‘The Phantom Festival’ explores the history of music on various levels. In the ‘The Quixote Candidate’, a would-be film director is persuaded to give what may turn out to be an overly comprehensive interview.

In the twenty years since the publication of his first short story collection (Worming the Harpy, Tartarus Press, 1995) Rhys Hughes has become an éminence grise of the strange tale. He wears his reputation lightly, and it is the sheer fun and individuality of the stories in Orpheus on the Underground that make them so memorable.


The Upper Reaches * Orpheus on the Underground * The Gargoyles of Black Wood * The Despicable Bungling of Yorick Porridge * Behind Every Ghost * The Ghost Written Autobiography of a Disembodied Spirit * Double Meaning * The Nick of Time * The Bicycle Centaur * The Quixote Candidate * The Pocket Shops * The Concise Picaresque Adventures of the Wanderlust Bridge * The Phantom Festival * Not Looking * New Improved Recipe for Disaster * The Great Me

Bone Idle in the Charnel House

Bone Idle in the Charnel House (2014)
Hippocampus Press

For more than two decades, Welsh writer Rhys Hughes has been entertaining and befuddling readers with his distinctive mix of terror, humor, fantasy, and absurdity. Although influenced by such writers as Italo Calvino and Jorge Luis Borges, his work is utterly unique in its melding of weirdness and comic grotesquerie.

In this substantial collection of new and reprinted stories, Hughes displays the literary skills that have brought him a wide and devoted readership. Many of these stories have been published in leading magazines and anthologies over the past decade; but several are unpublished and reveal their wonders and mysteries for the first time. With this book, Rhys Hughes stakes a claim to being one of the most original writers in contemporary weird fiction.


The Swinger * Bitter in Sour * The Old House Under the Snow * Degrees of Separation * The Warlord * Vampiric Gramps * Bone Idle in the Charnel House * What I Fear Most * Rediffusion * Casimir the Converter * Smuggling Old Nick to Newfoundland * Shelling the Toad * The Hydrothermal Reich * The Spoon * Chameleons * Happiness Leasehold * Life and the Plumbline * The Unsubtle Cages * Signma Octantis * The Century Just Gone

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

Captains Stupendous

Captains Stupendous (2014)
Telos Publishing

Too Much Travel Can Flatten the Mind...

"So you want to know about the Faraway Brothers, do you? Born somewhere in Gascony, they were, in the 1880s, all three of them birthed at the same time from the same womb of the same mother. Grew up in the same household, they did too, eating the same food, reading the same books, counting the legs on the same spider because the family couldn’t afford a real clock; but later they went their separate ways. Scipio took to the sea, to ships, islands and women; Distanto took to the air, to balloons, islands and women; Neary, unluckiest of the triplets, remained on land, taking only to locomotives and stations and chastity. Many adventures they all had and often their paths crossed and sometimes they clashed and the consequences were always totally STUPENDOUS!"


This book is a novel made up of the following three linked novellas:
The Coandă Effect * The Gargantuan Legion * The Apedog Incident

Wednesday, 3 September 2014

The Lunar Tickle

The Lunar Tickle (2014)
Dog Horn Publishing

The Lives and Spacetimes of Thornton Excelsior...

“Thornton Excelsior is a man but he’s not an individual, he’s a multitude, an ensemble of avatars of himself that can exist in any place at any time. His mission is to do all possible things and most impossible ones. Give him a feather and he will tickle the moon until it laughs; give him a laugh and he will sell it in the market for a story; give him a story and he will give you a book of them. This book. A book to make full moons giggle.”


An Inconvenient Fruit * The Maze * Hatstands on Zanzibar * The Porcelain Pig * Mad March Stylist * Tears of the Mutant Jesters *The Paradoxical Pachyderms * The Integers * The Shrug * The Longest Name * The Esplanade * The Rotten Otter * The Ducks of Hazard * Knight on a Bear Mountain * The Cheeky Monkey * The Melody Tree * The Reversed Comma * Black Ops * The Burning Ears * The Gates of Corn and Toffee * Whether the Weatherman * Note to Oneself * Said the Spook * The Notorious Unclemuncher * Read All About It * Putting Things Off * The Canapés of Wrath * The Plug * The Queue * Fossils * The Heat Death of Mr Universe * The Infringement * The Television * The Lock of Love *Sheer Lunar Sea * My Bearable Smugness

Note: the story entitled 'Tears of the Mutant Jesters' is a slightly rewritten version of a tale originally called 'The Appendix'

Tuesday, 6 May 2014

Bottled Love Story

Bottled Love Story (2014)
Gloomy Seahorse Press

"Love can't be bottled but it might arrive in a bottle... Love is a game like chess but with smiles, winks, laughs and kisses for pieces... Love is a problem. Is there a solution?

Cult author Rhys Hughes answers this question and resolves all the paradoxes in his new novelette. Join the woman who has no need for romance and the sailor from another age as they simultaneously attempt to accept and avoid the designs of destiny."


This book contains the novelette 'Bottled Love Story' and is distinctive for making extensive use of typographical tricks, unusual layouts, pictures as part of the story, etc.

Tuesday, 25 February 2014

Rhysop's Fables

Rhysop's Fables (2014)
Gloomy Seahorse Press

"Tired of being given good advice in fables and parables by wise men, sages and gurus?

Why not try Rhysop's Fables instead, a set of 207 unhelpful and irresponsible fables? There are no messages here telling you how best to live your life. That kind of thing is entirely up to you! The philosophy of Rhysop's Fables is that there are no answers to life because life is not a question...

Join a cast of crows, clouds, aardvarks, snails, robots, foxes, dinosaurs, ghosts, pickle jars and many other beings and things in the great quest to fail to unravel the mysteries of existence! You won't regret it; and even if you do, you won't regret your regret!"


Foreword * Rhysop's Fables * The Parable of the Homeless Fable * Rhysop's Return * Afterword

Wednesday, 19 February 2014

The Sticky Situations of Zwicky Fingers

The Sticky Situations of Zwicky Fingers (2014)
Gloomy Seahorse Press

"Zwicky Fingers is a giant fruit bat detective who lives in the past, present and future simultaneously. He is often consulted by the police force when there are paradoxical, lateral or impossible crimes to be solved. His sticky situations are ten tricky cases, one for each finger of two hands; but hands belonging to whom? That's just one of the mysteries you may or may not encounter when you join Zwicky on this decathlon of Calvinoesque whimsies!"


The Trail Separation * The Reverse Midas* The Tetrahedron Offensive * The Name of the Nose * The Experimenter's Chagrin * Mr Hyde and Dr Seek * This Werewolf Prefers Muesli * The Sock Camels * The Haggler of Affection * The Lap of Your Gaze

Wednesday, 12 February 2014

Flash in the Pantheon

Flash in the Pantheon (2014)
Gloomy Seahorse Press

A collection of 123 flash fictions by a writer who has made his reputation as a devoted champion of the short story form. None of the stories in this book are longer than 999 words; most are under 500 words; some are less than 100. The very short story is a noble literary tradition and includes such renowned names as Kafka, Chekhov, O Henry, Frederic Brown, Daniil Kharms and Brian Aldiss among its greatest practitioners. Ranging the spectrum of the imagination and encompassing a diverse range of styles and moods including fantasy, science fiction, humour, irony, whimsy and satire, this collection is perfect for the contemporary reader in our modern busy world.

"If only I'd had Flash in the Pantheon with me when I hitchhiked through Germany in 1959! I did have Fredric Brown's Nightmares & Geezenstacks flash fictions, to which Rhys Hughes tips his hat—but half way down the Rhine I ran out of flash; and I don't mean torch battery. Many of Hughes' microstories imply much, served with wit and whimsy and word-relish, high spirits and bittersweet twists—like a candied anchovy in a shot glass of rum; and some are very punny. Hughes would have kept me going till I got to the Hofbräuhaus." - IAN WATSON

The Gloomy Seahorse

The Gloomy Seahorse (2014)
Gloomy Seahorse Press

A book of poetry by Rhys Hughes with more than seventy poems selected from the past twenty years of his writing career and divided into four approximate categories: absurdism, mystical, science fiction and lovey-dovey, followed by an afterword.


Doughnut Go Gently * A Single Soul * My Head Fell into the Cabbage Soup * Nipple Song * Madras Guillotine * The Bones of Jones * Mothers * Ode to Auburnity She Was Peculiar in the Evenings * The Wild Hunt * Lord of Socks * Information Tongs * Madeleine is Her Own Filling Burbank with a Biryani: Bleistein with an Aloo Kofta * Ubu’s Ablutions * Autumn Ennui * Acrophobia in Acre * The Searcher * The Hungover Ruba’iyat * Iguana * Tuning in to Someone Else's Headache * The Cloudy Cider Drinker * More Loss Of Course * Ice Floes in Eden * Grandmother Time * The Damnation of Chris de Burgh * Three Augurs * Gogmagogical * Charles and Diode * Tea for Shoe * You Gave Me Cashew Nuts * The Fall of Rome * Absolutely the Last Monster to Be Boiled in a Pot at My House * Language Lesson * Gothic Looking Glass * The Gloomy Seahorse * The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Vindaloo * Monkey From a Cannon * My Eye Fell into the Bath * The Doors of Her Face * Jump * Khufu * Obtuse Angels * All Had Wide Eyes * Corkscrew * Old Mother Hubbard’s Alopecia Demands a Second-Hand Periwig * The Knight of Whatever * Witness * The Pedestrian's Complaint * Muffin Worry * My Bicycle is Really Yours * Brian the Actor * Huw Rees * The North Face of the Ego * Eyesore Isotopes * It's All Fenugreek to Me * My Girlfriend Left Me in India * Black and White * Tortillas on Sugarloaf * My Foot Walked Off Without Me * Dogdays * Uncommon Prayer * Highly-Strung Women * Snoutferatu * Mutant Fair * I Froth a Lot * Consuming Passion * The Certainty That the Plane is Going to Crash * Sunflower * The Avant-Gardener * My Thumb Has Stuck Fast in Your Ship * The Compass of Digestion * The Vikings are Invading my House * I Can Walk Faster Than a Bicycle * A Girl Like a Doric Column * Hydra Eyebrows * Sensible Ode to an Absurd Moon * Afterword

Friday, 20 December 2013

More Than a Feline

More Than a Feline (2013)
Gloomy Seahorse Press

An illustrated volume of cat stories and poems by cult author Rhys Hughes written over the past two decades and collected together for the very first time. Do you want to know what happened when Pushkin came to Shovekin; or how the sausage dog Bangers the Mash helped every cat in the world; or which grey cat drank fifty cups of tea one after the other? If so, you need to read More Than a Feline...


Foreword * A Tale with the Title at the End * The Cat * Cat in a Balloon * Making a Feline * Cat in a Bathysphere * Cat o'Nine Tales * Autumn Cat * Rimsky's the Limit * Fat Cat Fable * Silky Salathiel * Lady, Tiger and Protozoon * The Cellar Door * Cat on a Unicycle * The Magic Kitten * Lunar Love Cats * The Pig Iron Mouse Dooms the Moon * The Cat that Got the Cream * The Big Lick * The Mice Will Play * Cats' Eyes * Alphabeticat * A Word in Your Shell-Like * Bangers the Mash * The Rescue * When Pushkin Came to Shovekin * Fifty Cups of Lady Grey

Buy from Lulu here.

Note: The pieces in blue are poems, not stories. 'A Tale with the Title at the End' is 'His Wife's Whiskers' retitled; and 'The Magic Kitten' is a rewritten version of 'The Magic Lamp'.

Saturday, 2 November 2013

The Young Dictator

The Young Dictator (2013)
Pillar International Publishing

"Thanks to a strange set of circumstances, Jenny Khan wins the Carrington by-election and gets sent to Westminster as an MP. Partly because she holds the balance of power in a hung parliament – but mostly thanks to some magical help – she is able to launch a coup, overthrow democracy and declare herself a dictator. Her regime is opposed by the Middle Classes and a Civil War breaks out. Jenny is shocked to learn that the leaders of the rebels are her own Mum and Dad... Then it gets really weird... On this journey you will meet a man that has grown too old to die, a skeletal Queen, Skargills, shrinking continents, honest aliens, interstellar despots and a myriad of creatures and characters at right-angles to reality... This book is an hilarious, absurd, odd, idiosyncratic blast of an adventure. To be enjoyed by mischievous adults and clever children."


Jenny Khan * Genghis Kan't * Caterpillar the Hun * Owl Scared of the Dark * The Cat That Chilled the Scene * Moonmoths, Umbrellas and Oranges

Buy from Amazon here.

Sunday, 6 October 2013

The Just Not So Stories

The Just Not So Stories (2013)
The Exaggerated Press

"They said it just wasn’t so. But it was! Thirty stories exploring the bizarre and curiously absurd world of cult writer Rhys Hughes... Irony—Whimsy—Paradox... Aliens—Mad Scientists—Monsters... Living Bicycles... Trumpeters in Outer Space... Wordplay... Robots in Lingerie... That’s the least of it... Herein you will discover phenomena new not only to science but also to the imagination! Roll up! Roll up! But if you can’t roll, feel free to hop, prance, slither, gyrate, stride, tiptoe, slide or undulate in any style you choose!"


The Mistake * The Pastel Whimsy * The Great Bicycle Migration * Personification * The Strongest Monster * The Mark of Cain, the Jeremy of Abel * Tuberculosis Bells * My Biological Prism * The Yeasty Rise and Half-Baked Fall of Lyndon Williams * The Leveller of Neptune * How to Lose Friends and Alienate People * The Grave Demeanour * The Ugliest Idol in Christendom * Message to Rosita * Lyndon: God * Pulpo * The Underwear Shop * My Crow Nation * Climbing the Tallest Tree in the World * The Censor * Aldrin’s the Buzzword * Butterbrow * The Blue Jewel Fruit * Mate in Pi * Bachelor of Voodoo * The Gunfight * The Tale That Never Got Told * The Sun Trap * The Dwarf Shortage * My Own Worst Anemone

Buy from Lulu here.

Tuesday, 23 July 2013

The Abnormalities of Stringent Strange

The Abnormalities of Stringent Strange (2013)
Meteor House

"The world has never seen an aviator quite like Stringent Strange. Half man, half ape, half badly added fraction, he can fly anything with wings and many things without. Under the mentorship of the unorthodox genius Professor Tobias Crinkle, our hairy hero soon gets much more than he bargains for when he finds himself up against a fiendish Nazi plot to invade and conquer America before the war has even begun! Fortunately there exists an invention that can help him fight back against the warlike scoundrels, but the consequences of using it will propel him into even greater peril, into an alternative future where the themes and tropes of early magazine science fiction are menacingly real and coexist in perfect disharmony! Into a bracing reality where the only weapons he can rely on are the three special abnormalities he was born with… Come and join Stringent Strange in a stupendous, mysterious, inventive adventure set in a far-flung time When Pulps Collide!"

Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Tallest Stories

Tallest Stories (2013)
Eibonvale Press

"If every tale told in a tavern is a tall story, then what happens when the entire universe becomes a tavern? It means that every story ever told is tall and therefore untrue, and this includes the true tales. They are all lies. But a lie is a concept only possible because it can be contrasted with truth: without its opposite concept it makes no sense at all. This implies one of two unlikely things, (a) the universe is not really a tavern, (b) there are other universes beyond this one where true stories exist. If you ever learn which is the correct answer to this riddle please let me know."

60 linked stories, 60 illustrations, 18 years in the making...

Taller Stories
Prologue; Rainbow’s End; Ghost Holiday; Those Wonderful Words; Learning to Fly; Learning to Fall; The Banshee; The Queen of Jazz; Anna and the Dragon; Three Friends; The Rake and the Fool; Goblin Sunrise; The Juggler; The Peat Fire; Knight on a Bear Mountain; Something About a Demon; The Furious Walnuts; The Illustrated Student; The Story with a Clever Title; The Silver Necks; Never Hug an Aardvark; Epilogue

More Taller Stories
In the Margins; The Wooden Salesman; Two Fat Men in a Very Thin Country; The Man Who Threw his Voice; The Sealed Room; The Masterpiece; The Hole Truth: a Lie; Entropy; The Time Tunnel Orchid; The Golden Fleas; The West Pole; Islands in the Bathtub; Billion World Boat; The Smutty Tamarinds; A Curry in Camelot; Encore

Last Taller Stories
The Surface Area of a Ghost’s Wanderings; Degrees of Separation; The Folded Page; Milk and Ladders; Niddala; The Juice of Days; The Kissable Climes; But it Pours; The Tallest Midget; The Man who Gargled with Gargoyle Juice; The Minotaur in Pamplona; Wood for the Trees; The Violation; Oaths; Chianti’s Inferno; Gaspar Jangle’s Séance; The Urban Freckle; Corneropolis; The Six Sentinels; The Mirror in the Looking Glass; Trombonhomie; Climbing the Tallest Tree in the World; Anton Arctic and the Conquest of the Scottish Pole; The Most Boring Story


Tuesday, 7 August 2012

The Truth Spinner

The Truth Spinner (2012)
Wildside Press

The complete adventures of Castor Jenkins!

"Castor Jenkins is a Welshman who tells stories that may (or may not) be true... but no matter how fantastic, who can prove they never happened? In the tradition of Lord Dunsany's The Travel Tales of Mr. Joseph Jorkens and Arthur C. Clarke's Tales from the White Hart, here is a collection of club stories full of wonder and marvels, as only Rhys Hughes could have told them!"

Part 1: The Münchausen of Porthcawl
Castor on Troubled Waters * Canis Raver * The Plucked Plant * When Wales Played Asgård * Interstellar Domestic * The Cream-Jest of Unset Custard * The Day the Town of Porthcawl was Accidentally Twinned with the Capital of the Cheese and Biscuits Empire

Part 2: Tribulations of the Human Bean
The Monkey's Pawpaw * Home Suit Home * All in a Flap * Hangfire Bubbler * The Private Pirate's Club

Part 3: Castor on the Seven Plus Seas
Chuckleberry Grin * Penal Colony * Flying Saucer Harmonies * Nemo's Omen * The Thousand and One Pints * Celebration Day

Note: The story entitled 'Hangfire Bubbler' in this collection is a rewritten version of a previously unpublished story called 'Poorly Dawkins'.

Friday, 2 December 2011

Sangria in the Sangraal

Sangria in the Sangraal (2011)
Ex Occidente Press

An entire story-cycle in miniature. One thousand years of the remarkable magical history of a secret region of Spain where few people venture even now. Albarracín is a rose-red town tucked away in the mountains of Lower Aragon. Once the seat of an independent taifa during the dominance of the Caliphate of Cordoba, it remained saturated with ancient mystery long after the separated kingdoms of the peninsular were forged through conquest into the single nation we know today. In Albarracín still lurk the djinn of the wondrous past in their dusty bottles and the ghosts of heroes and villains locked in the crucibles of a rogue alchemist.


The Shapes Down There * The Spare Hermit * Sally Forth * The Magic Gone * Sangria in the Sangraal * The Man Toucan * Latitude, Longitude and Plenitude * The Kind Generosity of Theophrastus Tautology * Scaramouche's Pouting Mouth * Knossos in its Glory

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Link Arms With Toads!

Link Arms With Toads! (2011)
Chômu Press

A Showcase of Romanti-Cynical Stories

"Whether you are a ghost, a robot or just an apeman, you can always link arms with toads!"

Self-reflective mirrors looking for their own reflections. Towns that migrate to the moon. Prisoners of elaborate dungeons and gigantic miniature solar systems. Robots, ghosts, rascals, explorers, troubadours, apemen and yetis. All are present in the multiverse of inversion and invention that is Link Arms with Toads!


The Troubadours of Perception * Number 13½ * The Taste of the Moon * Lunarhampton * The Expanding Woman * All Shapes Are Cretans * The Innumerable Chambers of the Heart * Pity the Pendulum * 333 and a Third * The Candid Slyness of Scurrility Forepaws * Ye Olde Resignation * Castle Cesare * The Mirror in the Looking Glass * Oh Ho! * Loneliness * Hell Toupée * Inside the Outline * Discrepancy

Friday, 11 March 2011

The Brothel Creeper

The Brothel Creeper (2011)
Gray Friar Press

Tales of Sexual and Spiritual Tension.


The Ditching * One Man’s Meat * The Cuckoos of Bliss * One’s a Crowd * Southbound Satin * Pyramid and Thisbe * Is My Wife On Mars? * The Indigo Casbah * God in a Basement Flat * Fanny * Crash, With Shopping Trolleys * Mah Jong Breath * The Flesh Stocking * Casimir the Converter * The Docking of Spaceship Earth * Cuntlock * The Sickness of Satan * The Gibbon in the Garret * The Small Miracle * Cracking Nuts With Jan Hammer * The Quims of Itapetinga

Notes: (a) 'Cracking Nuts With Jan Hammer' only appears in the hardback edition, (b) the item entitled 'Fanny' is a miniature story-cycle consisting of eight brief tales ('Fanny is Famished', 'The Furry Godmother', 'Petal Put the Kelly On', 'Fanny of the Apes', 'Knobheads and Dipsticks', 'Fanny of the Opera', 'Pussy in Boots', 'Flicking a Fleck of Freckled Flapper').

Monday, 6 December 2010

The Coandă Effect

The Coandă Effect (2010)
Ex Occidente Press

A Corto Maltese adventure!

The early years of the 20th century. Submarines, bicycles, physics, ghosts, elusive pirates, honest bandits, hats, icebergs, the Second Balkans War of 1913, the shadow of Franz Kafka, duels and cobwebs, nostalgia and a Finnish villain so dastardly that even the author was shocked by his antics! The Coandă Effect is a novella concerning magic, science, mystery and mayhem, as the enigmatic "sailor without a ship" plumbs the delirious depths of a fiendish plot to convert the souls of the dead into pure energy! Edition limited to only 100 hand numbered copies.

Thursday, 29 July 2010

Twisthorn Bellow

Twisthorn Bellow (2010)
Atomic Fez Publishing


* The Wings of Phoebus
* The Pots of Pan
* The Skin of Marsyas
* The Feet of Sciron
* The Earlobes of Æsop
* The Shoelaces of Jupiter
* The Clangers of Paris

A full-length metafictional novel describing the "unusual escapades of a self-exploding golem with a twisted horn and attitude somewhere on the astral plane and also on foot right here..." Partly inspired by Mike Mignola's 'Hellboy' character, partly inspired by the works of Philip José Farmer. Cover art by Steve Upham.

Mister Gum

Mister Gum (2009)
Dog Horn Publishing

A compound novel detailing the life and adventures of Mr Gum, an obscene and pompous Creative Writing tutor, with his sidekicks, Fellatio Nelson and Detective Inspector Ynch Short of the Yard. The novel is divided into four parts. The first part is a satire on the teaching of creative writing; the second is a satire on crime fiction; the third is a satire on detective fiction; and the fourth is a satire against satire. Only the second edition of this novel contains the 'Sticky White Hands' and 'I am a Slimy Man' chapters.


Part One: The Creative Writing Tutor
* Oh, Whistle While You Work, and I’ll Come to You, My Dwarf * Boo to a Goose * Whaling Well * The Tenant of Arcimboldo Hall * Canon Alberic’s Photo-Album

Part Two: Up a Gumtree
* The Groin Scratcher * Plop Fiction

Part Three: Spermicidal Maniacs
* Where the Sun Doesn’t Shine * Cop Hospital * Plums and Oriels

Part Four: Gum, Set and Match
* The Glue of the Scream * Sticky White Hands * I am a Slimy Man

Engelbrecht Again!

Engelbrecht Again! (2008)
Dead Letter Press

A sequel to Maurice Richardson's classic 1950s gothic comedy, The Exploits of Engelbrecht.

"The Further Exploits of Engelbrecht, abstracted from The Secret Chronicles of The Surrealist Sportsman's Club by A.N. Other, hidden on the orders of the Ruling Committee but dug up again by Rhys Hughes, and authenticated at perilous emotional cost by a selection of mythological beasts including Harpies, Unicorns, Manticores, Zaratans, Vainglorious Chimeras, the Vegetable Lamb of Tartary and a Squonk..."


Gauntlet of Gorgons * Far on Bicycles * Young Werther Cheers Up * Surfing the Solar Wind * The North Face of the Ego * Tug of Worlds * Engelbrecht at the Eisteddfod * A Mermaid Supper * Last Tango in Atlantis * A Sandal Waiting to Happen * A Monkey for all Seasons * The Destruction of Destruction * Engelbrecht and Ubu * A Sumwot Labud Sattire * The Chronic Argonauts Get Better

The Postmodern Mariner

The Postmodern Mariner (2008)
Screaming Dreams

"A short book of implausible adventures featuring absurdities, anachronisms, exaggerations, outrageous puns, pirates, mythological beings, giant cups of tea and the occasional metafictional trick..."


The Münchhausen of Porthcawl
Castor on Troubled Waters * Canis Raver * The Plucked Plant * When Wales Played Asgård * Interstellar Domestic * The Cream-Jest of Unset Custard * The Day the Town of Porthcawl was Accidentally Twinned with the Capital of the Cheese and Biscuits Empire

Piper at the Fates of Ooze
The Lip Service

The Postmodern Mariner in Person
Rommel Cobra's Swimming Carnival

The Less Lonely Planet

The Less Lonely Planet (2008)
Humdrumming Press

"Tales of Here, There & Happenstance"


Foreword * Thinner Air * Troubleroot * Goblin Sunrise * The Two Kingdoms * The Taming of the Old Woman who Lived in a Shrew * Thief Among Thieves * Below the Carnival * The Muse Ouroboros * Accordion Beach * The Mice Will Play * The Desiccated Sage * Two Fat Men in a Very Thin Country * Niddala * Sending Freedom Far Away * The Impregnable Fortress * The Bathing Bells * Doom Laden Haven * The Six Sentinels * In Moonville * But it Pours * The City that was Itself * The Man who Gargled with Gargoyle Juice * The Tallest Midget * The Kissable Climes * The Non-Existent Viscount in the Trees * When the Microscopic Giants Took Over Happenstance * Venus and Stupid * Von Ryan’s Daughter’s Express * In Sunsetville * Fable with Turkish Coffee * Sir Cheapskate * Playing Impossible Instruments * Afterword

The Crystal Cosmos

The Crystal Cosmos (2007)
PS Publishing

A short science-fiction novel.

"In an infinity of universes, where everything must happen, there exists one cosmos that is particularly strange. And not only strange but of immeasurable value... When interstellar politics faces a new kind of metaphysics the outcome of the struggle is always in doubt. Beautiful Sappho Ritsos has an immense responsibility on her shoulders, for she has been charged with the task of saving a solar system made of solid diamond from the most seductive and manipulative space pirate in the history of commerce. Peace on two separate Earths is at stake, the economies of nations and the sanity of humanity itself! But how does all this concern a simple goatherd and a man made of bronze?"

Sereia de Curitiba

A Sereia de Curitiba (2007)
Livros de Areia

A book of linked stories in Portuguese. This book does not exist in English.

"De Curitiba ao Funchal, de Butrint a Streslau, das montanhas da Ásia Menor à Lua e de volta ao fundo dos mares tropicais: eis a rota desta alucinante aventura. Se a vida é um jogo, Rhys Hughes joga-a com o baralho da mais audaciosa fantasia, sob as regras de um humor absurdo e contagiante."


The English titles are given after the Portuguese titles.

* A sereia de Curitiba (The Mermaid of Curitiba)
* Colheres de amor em perigo (Lovespoons in Peril)
* Os tritões lunares (The Lunar Tritons)
* Tudo para nada (All for Nothing)
* Horizonte eterno (Eternal Horizon)
* Cultos da carga da Ilha do Beijo Picante (The Cargo Cults of Salty Kiss Island)
* Regresso a zenda (Return to Zenda)
* Falsa alvorada de papagaios (False Dawn of Parrots)
* Os sinos imersos (The Bathing Bells)
* Gala das canções implausíveis (The Gala of Implausible Songs)

At the Molehills of Madness

At the Molehills of Madness (2006)
Pendragon Press

A collection of ironic horror and dark fantasy stories.


* The Fury Machine * The Unbearable Lightness of Being a Dirigible * Cutting Back * The Cat * The Smile Inside * Lunette * Necessity is the Mother * A Length of Rope * The Seed of the Damned * A Family Resemblance * Rancid Kumquats are Not the Only Fruit * Six Characters in Search of an Executioner * The Swiss Family Abacus * The Second Picture * Madonna Park * The Death of Ganymede * The Skull Farmers * The Crippled Gollywog's Fox Hunt * Crash With Shopping Trolleys * The Business Flight * The Sound of Music in Hell * The Century Just Gone * Sailing to the Island of Tools on the Ship of Fools * The Gibbon in the Garrett * The Decay of the Pilgrim

A New Universal History of Infamy

A New Universal History of Infamy (2004)
Night Shade Books

The book serves as a parody and homage to Jorge Luis Borges' collection A Universal History of Infamy... It was published in Portuguese translation as Uma nova história universal da infâmia in April 2006. Greek and Spanish editions appeared in 2007. The contents that follow are for the original American edition only and include the names of the authors who are parodied in the relevant sections.


Preface to the Unpublished Edition
Preface to an Imaginary Edition

* The Brutal Buddha, Baron von Ungern-Sternberg
* The Honest Liar, Denis Zachaire
* Chewer of Hearts, François l'Olonnais
* Trader of Doom, Basil Zaharoff
* The Worm Supreme, Francisco Solano Lopez
* The Worst Hero, Dick Turpin
* The Maddest King, Henry Christophe

* Streetcorner Mouse

* City of Blinks (Herbert Quain)
* The Landscape Player (Fergus Hall)
* The Spanish Cyclops (Felipe Alfau)
* The Unsubtle Cages (Thomas Ligotti)
* Celia the Impaler (Michel Leiris)
* Alone with a Longwinded Soul (D.F. Lewis)
* Monkeybreath (J. MeerKat & M. Rabbits - from Thackery T. Lambshead)
* Of Exactitude in Theology (Jaromir Hladik)

* Finding the Book of Sand (Jorge Luis Borges)
* The Hyperacusis of Chumbly Mucker (John Sladek)
* Ictus Purr (parody of Hughes in the style of the reader)

* Life and the Plumbline (only included in the limited edition)

The Percolated Stars

The Percolated Stars (2003)
Razorblade Press

A novel made up of three parts:

* Ultima Thule
* Thais von Oort
* The Wardrobe World

Journeys Beyond Advice

Journeys Beyond Advice (2002)
Sarob Press


* The World Beyond the Stairwell
* A Rape of Knots
* Mah Jong Breath
* The Swine Taster
* The Semi-Precious Isle
* The Herb Garden of Earthly Delights
* The Singularity Spectres

Nowhere Near Milk Wood

Nowhere Near Milk Wood (2002)
Prime Books

"Milk Wood is not a nice place to be. With the passing of generations, it has curdled. At night it casts a buttery light on the moon. Fortunately, all the action in this book occurs elsewhere. It mostly happens in a warped version of the music industry or in an impossible tavern or in a future where everything is illegal. It sometimes even happens outside the narrative. But never in Milk Wood. Never. Milk Wood is barely even mentioned. For it is not a nice place to be."


Martyr to Music
In the Moonless Gutter * Adventures in the Grin Trade * Nowhere Near Milk Wood

Taller Stories
Prologue * Rainbow's End * Ghost Holiday * Those Wonderful Words * Learning to Fly * Learning to Fall * The Banshee * The Queen of Jazz * Anna and the Dragon * Three Friends * The Rake and the Fool * Goblin Sunrise * The Juggler * The Peat Fire * Knight on a Bear Mountain * Something About a Demon * The Furious Walnuts * The Illustrated Student * The Story with a Clever Title * The Silver Necks * Never Hug an Aardvark * Epilogue

The Long Chin of the Law
The Catastrophe Trials * The Crime Continuum * Judgment Day * The Thirty-Nine Million Steps * The Impossible Mirror * Crawling King Prawn * Pyramids of the Purple Atom * The Suppertime Sting * The Mischief Towers

Stories From a Lost Anthology

Stories From a Lost Anthology (2002)
Tartarus Press


Introduction by Michael Moorcock * Portrait of an Artist As a Rusty Bus * The Lute and the Lamp * Toastmaster, Buttermistress * Journey Through a Wall * The Marsh Callow * Story from a Lost Anthology * Less Is More * Jellydämmerung! * The Macroscopic Teapot * Fallow * The Crab * Pyramid and Thisbe * The Lover and the Grave * The Evil Side of Reginald Burke * Asparagus on the Tooth * A Languid Elagabalus of the Tombs * Owlbeast * Tin in the Soul * Cockatrice at the Door * Robin Hood’s New Mother * The New Giraldus

The Smell of Telescopes

The Smell of Telescopes (2000)
Tartarus Press


The Banker of Ingolstadt * Ten Grim Bottles * Spermaceti Whiskers * The Blue Dwarf * The Purloined Liver * The Squonk Laughed * Telegram Ma'am * Depressurised Ghost Story * Thanatology Spleen * The Tell-Tale Nose * A Girl Like a Doric Column * The Orange Goat * Nothing More Common * Muscovado Lashes * A Person Not in the Story * Bridge Over Troubled Blood * Burke and Rabbit * The Yellow Imp * Lanolin Brows * The Haunted Womb * Mister Humphrey's Clock's Inheritance * There was a Ghoul Dwelt by a Mosque * The Purple Pastor * The Hush of Falling Houses * The Sickness of Satan * Omophagia Ankles

Rated by Michael Moorcock as one of the ten best "overlooked odd speculative fiction classics".

The second edition was issued by Eibonvale Press in 2007.

Rawhead & Bloody Bones

Rawhead & Bloody Bones (1998)
Tanjen Ltd


* Rawhead & Bloody Bones
* Elusive Plato

Two linked novellas packaged into one volume. The first novella is one of the major installments in the 'Chaud-Mellé' cycle of stories. The second was written in the "shape of a tesseract" and features the extraordinary philosophical villain, Bartleby Cadiz.


Eyelidiad (1996)
Tanjen Ltd

A novella concerning the adventures of the highwayman Robin Darktree as he searches for gold he buried when he was younger. Having forgotten the location of the trove, he carries a living portrait of his younger self on his back who does know where it is, but who seeks to double cross his partner!

Worming the Harpy

Worming the Harpy (1995)
Tartarus Press

Second edition (paperback) issued by Tartarus Press in February 2011.


Cat o' Nine Tales * Worming the Harpy * The Falling Star * Quasimodulus * The Good News Grimoire * The Forest Chapel Bell * Flintlock Jaw * Velocity Oranges * A Carpet Seldom Found * The Chimney * One Man's Meat * The Man Who Mistook His Wife's Hat for the Mad Hatter's Wife * Cello I Love You * What to do When the Devil Comes Round for Tea * Arquebus for Harlequin * Éclair de Lune * Grinding the Goblin

Note: 'The Forest Chapel Bell' only appears in the second edition.